1. |
No More Bargaining
03:12
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Someone bought me a red dress on the day you died
I found it kind of funny that I hadn’t cried
Dad gave me all your make-up and your jewelry, too
But they mostly slipped away just like my memory of you
I was sleeping on the night that you left your bed
Too young to know what it would do to my head
But if I could be so bold as to talk to those leaving
I’d like to have some words on behalf of the grieving
Who you love can’t save you now
Careful your words, cause they’ll stick like a vow
If you find that sleep creeping in
Forgive yourself, there’s no more bargaining
Another couple years and dad passes on
I didn’t know what to do so I sang him a song
I sang of flowers on the day that he said goodbye
And he held onto my hand as he watched me cry
So sure that time, time would stop so I could learn to heal
Demanding answers to be found, some plan to be revealed
But if I could be so bold as to talk to those grieving
I’d like to have some words on behalf of the leaving
[Chorus]
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2. |
Sky-hole
03:53
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Laying below you
I feel safe beneath you
Cradled by dirt and fallen leaves
Happy within a ring of trees
Which one is the in-between
The shadow space defining what is seen
Is there an end to where you lead
Growing within a ring of trees
I am feeling into another way of being
Deep and under cover I’m a seedling
Patterns reveal what I’m needing
I am feeling into another way of being
Laying below blue
There’s a song that seeps right through
All of the porousness in me
Cells humm forgotten harmonies
Did I close my eyes
To feel this spiraling inside
Dancing with shapes I’ve never seen
Circling within a ring of trees
[Chorus]
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3. |
Pick-Me-Up
03:35
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Feeling I’m falling again
Feels like I’m losing ground
Feeling I’m falling apart
Feels like I’ve lost my sound
I gotta pick me up
To pick me up
Cause there’s no one else who can
Pick me up, or give it all up (or give a fuck)
To help me like I can
What do I measure against
Where do I draw my lines
To what shall I convert my life
To feel how far behind
[Chorus]
I want to try
But I’ve tried so many times
And I’m feeling tired, I’m feeling so tired
[Chorus]
Not sure if it’s true
But someone has got to do
The hard work of raising
Me to behaving
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4. |
Meet The Sky
04:03
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I wrapped myself in silk cocoon
While you slept on ‘neath shaded moon
My heart had weakened by and by
And so I spun to meet the sky
I felt the echo in the deep
Of promises I couldn’t keep
The phantom burden on my back
Of what I’d lost and what I lacked
I churned and burned
‘Til I turned
From tightly bound to body spread out wide
And baby I’m still me
The only difference is I’ve found the means to fly
But first I had to die to thoughts with which I had been tied
So if I flutter by you yet
A buttery new silhouette
May you meet sky through my rebirth
And for that moment lift from earth
And churn and burn
‘Til you turn
From tightly bound to body spread out wide
And baby we’re still we
The only difference is I’ve found the means to fly
But first I had to die to thoughts with which I had been tied
And baby we’re still we
The only difference is I’ve found the means to fly
But first I had to die to thoughts with which I had been tied
Maybe to fly it’s just the thoughts that need to die
Maybe to fly it’s just the thoughts that need to die
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5. |
Keep On The Fire
04:43
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Float me into space
I may never kiss another face
What do I seek, what do I seek of my desire
Will I fear the moment I’m exposed
Will I fear the moment no one knows
What will I keep, what will I keep on the fire
Something potent stirring within
My body breathing vessel is not a sin
What will I speak, what will I speak of my desire
Fear I to combust or decompose
Will I fear the moment no one knows
What will I keep, what will I keep on the fire
Lost in words that I was never meant to say
Lost in roles that I was never meant to play
Give me your love, I’ll keep it on the fire
I’ll keep it on the fire
I’ll keep it on the fire
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6. |
What Is Happening
02:50
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7. |
I Am In This Body I
02:30
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I am in this body
I am deserving of love
I am in this body
I am deserving of love
There is a loving boundary
Surrounding me
There is a loving boundary
Surrounding me
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8. |
I Am In This Body II
04:01
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I am in this body, I am deserving of love
I am in this body, I am deserving of love
Am I within or without
Tell me what’s the seed of doubt
And this heart it is beating
And these lungs they are breathing
And this body is moving in space
And there are memories that carry
But these tears I have buried
Are soft echoes remembering embrace
I am in this body, I am deserving of love
I am in this body, I am deserving of love
There is a loving boundary surrounding me
There is a loving boundary surrounding me
Am I within or without
Tell me what’s the seed of doubt
And these arms they are shaking
With these moves I am making
And this body so close to the sound
I’ll let the tides ebb and run
Through my heart and my lungs
So this voice can be held by the ground
[Chorus]
I am love
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9. |
Athena
04:29
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I forged ahead
The rest was dead
Or so it seemed
Bespoke a mouth
Charmed tones spinning out
To redeem, to redeem
Oh, Oh, I
Know so little about how to die
I broke a head
Born out of it
In full form
So hard to heed
My body needs
When I’m a storm
[Chorus]
Give me grace
So I can leave here
One step at a time
In my haste to find my way home
I forget this life is mine
[Chorus]
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10. |
Jumping Deep
03:15
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I’m peeling back a layer
Of who I thought myself to be
In our slow unwinding dance
Of intently tender speech
Mmm how is it I find spaces
I had never thought to reach
In our gentle exploration found in
Tension and release
I’m soft and ripe and blushing
From the textures of your touch
Sweet unfurling of tight petals
That had feared they’d spill too much
Ah this presence with perception
Spins our threads through lovers’ maze
And a clarity of essence
Each distilling in shared gaze
Jumping deep in the arms of love with you
Why is it expectation
Has such trouble waiting round
With a patience for the other
To reveal what they have found
Oh I’m learning to be listening
With my heart to each our needs
In our slow unwinding dance
To intently find the seeds
Jumping deep in the arms of love with you
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11. |
Hawthorn
02:47
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{ maryann: those are the two things, that that helped me
that that, what is truly – me – will survive, if you will
will, will live and that, i didn’t have to feel so separated
from other people, as well }
If I collapse, just like a star
Which point in time will claim my heart
{ maryann: they keep wanting to know: are you?
how are you? how are you?
it was very, um, important for them to know that i was ok
understanding that – i am not my body
michael: that we, we already are perfect
maryann: so that gave me some strength as well }
If I collapse, just like a star
each point in time will claim my heart
{ michael: and maybe trying to project this image of
of ourselves – out here
to cover up something that we’re afraid we are
um, and instead maybe find out exactly who we really are
um, that if each one was to make that change
uh – then the whole thing is shifted }
Though every breath
{ michael: maybe what we think is so isn’t so }
brought joy and pain
I want to feel it all again
{maryann: um, it was very touching
and maybe
it was very amazing
um … um … um
michael: and that is
maryann: um … that i … how are you? … like us!
michael: and that is
maryann: nobody needs to feel alone
michael: um
maryann: how are you?... and i think
michael: that we, we already are perfect … exactly
maryann: like us!
michael: we already are perfect }
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Dr. Jones Providence, Rhode Island
she / her /hers <3 Experimenting with songwriting like a form of echolocation - a way to find a sense of place and self in a seemingly ever-changing environment.
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